Throwing away the old and embracing the new January 25, 2010

I got a reply from an old friend yesterday, and she told me that she got rid of all her old photos and gifts from her ex-s when she was pregnant with her second child. It was like a final closure to the old chapter of her life. She didn’t want her kids to see any of her diary entries etc regarding her ex or people she used to date with. and her focus was her family.

As I am waiting for “D” day to come, I have sometimes rather vivid dreams and recollections of people from the past.  I think my hubbie is doing the same thing too, cos yesterday afternoon I saw him scanning all the pictures from the old album and then throwing the photos away. I was wondering to myself if it upset me to see photos of his ex-es. It seems weird to me I guess to want to scan photos of your past and put it into some filing order, and yet not contact them at all.

For me, resolving the past means whether I have made amendments to the relationship or I guess to whether I started any reconciliation process, and kinda wish them well for the future. In short, I try to remain as friends, all except for one where I know if I kept in touch, it will do me more harm than good. As for the photos and the mementos etc,I don’t think I have that many to begin with… and I just leave them as they are. I don’t scan them to store into the a hard disk. I just leave it to dust I guess. I don’t look at the photos.

I am not sure which approach is better- to remain as friends for my ex or to just have no contact with them and just scan their photos into your hard disk. I honestly don’t know, except that what I do know is that I am by nature a reflective person and sentimental person, and friendships mean alot to me. I will try to stay in touch to whoever I am able to as long as it doesn’t jeopardize my relationship with my husband.

And through my current friendships with my ex which of course has taken a new dimension than before, i learn alot about myself, my past self and how I have change/matured.

I think I still have alot of growing up to do.

Insomnia at 37 weeks January 24, 2010

Is it common for pregnant women at 37 weeks to suffer from Insomnia? Insomnia is an extremely foreign word for me, I have never suffered from it. At most times, I usually fall asleep before I even hit the pillow. So now for me to get up a couple of times in the night to either pee or to change my sleeping positions, or simply just wide awake is so foreign experience as a trip to the moon.

Unlike my husband who thinks of Jack all the time, I think about my discomfort more. How ungrateful I am! I think of all the gas I am burping uncontrollably and I frown. I should reframe my mind to remember that part of the discomfort will lead to something better, something worth more than gold, something that is so priceless- having my own son.  I just remembered a verse in the bible about Suffering— Romans 8:18-19

¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The whole creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed

The analogy is birth! Just like christians bear their present sufferings because it is the glory that will be revealed , they are waiting for something better, that Christ will be revealed through them. So I am suffering now for Jack , so that Jack will be born. And what a blessing and a bundle of joy he will be! Not only to my and my husband, but to my family and extended family too!

Dear God, what can I say? I can only give you thanks. Thanks for the wonderful child that is in my womb. There is nothing short of a miracle. THank you for creating life, and life of another person through me. I feel so privileged Lord, to be the mother of Jack. And even though I can’t see him now ( except through ultrasound) I can feel him, and his every kick in my belly reminds me how good a God you are. Thank you for the reminder once again to be grateful for all that you have given me. You have given me a great family, a great husband, and now a son.

Thank you Father for all you have done.

Amen.

Now at 35 weeks and counting January 15, 2010

It is now 4:15 am and I can’t sleep. I never believe this would happen to me– Insomnia. Is it because I had tea in the afternoon, or is it because I have too much in my mind? I guess abit of both.

So I thought the best way is to journal all my thoughts down, so that at least my worries has somewhere to go.

There has been so much on my mind, so much information to digest and learn.

1. My discomfort

I am getting rather uncomfortable these days. The doctor told me that it is normal for women in the last month or the third trimester to feel this way. I feel bloated, have gas all the time that makes it hard to sleep and just plain clumsy.

I can feel my feet getting swollen and I have to pee all the time now.

The hardest part I feel is not being able to sleep for the whole 7 hours. It is either I am getting up all the time, or feeling anxious.

Sometimes in the afternoon, I am just overwhelmed by fatigue. It is as if a fatigue button has been pressed, and suddenly I am immobilized. I guess I need to take it easy and take things slowly.  My hubbie suggested that I take afternoon naps too.  It’s great that my work is so flexible that I can do that!

What to do: ( note to self)

1. take it easy.

2. learn to breathe and meditate.

3. Eat carefully and frequently.

4 . Keep exercising as much as I can.

2.  Childbirth itself

I am worried about being hungry and not being able to eat for a long time. I don’t think I am worried about the pain so much, in fact in a strange way I am looking forward to it, cos it is like a rite of passage. I have become a mom, and whatever pain I bear , Jack is the reward.  Being blessed with big hips, I think my giving birth experience would really be ok.  And God is always with me, and C is always with me so I can take comfort in that. I will learn to be opened to whatever pain my body feels and seek medical help as when needed. I will use epidural when needed, it’s empowering to not be in control in things that I can’t control and know which I can control.

3. Post partum depression

It is great news that mom and auntie are coming over the first three weeks or so ( that is if Jack is born on due date) and i have the chinese nanny to help. But what happens after? I am afraid of loneliness and isolation. I need to have people around me… social support. All mothers advised me that I should not be afraid of asking for help. And I should be specific about what help I need. So i guess it is best to write down who and whom I can get help from.  Two of my friends have offered and I have joined the mom’s club. One friend also mentioned that she had alot of activites and was out and about. So that is what I should do after the first month. Out and about more. I think I might also enlist the help of another nanny to help out part time during the day?  I am also thankful that I have my friends who are also my neighbors who have a baby who is 4 months old and they always have their parents in their house around. So if there is any emergency, I can always count on them for help.

4. Golden Month preparation

I haven’t given it much thought except for what is needed to write the book. But I should really prepare for this too. What I should do mentally durign that time of rest.. and what my family should do etc.

Baby Kicks alot at eight months! January 2, 2010

So, I am now eight months pregnant, and only six more weeks to go! Tummy is alot bigger now, and people can see that I am visibly pregnant. I even walk like a pregnant woman now, with my tummy thrusted forward, and legs back.

So what is the difference in the third trimester? Well, the baby kicks alot now, or rather I can feel him kicking. And it is visible to the naked eye. Like I can see my tummy do a wave. The other difference is that I am feeling the same symptoms as before in the first trimester– morning sickness. I asked the doctor why, and she said it is because the baby is growing so big and it pushes my stomach upwards, and somehow in the morning when there is no food in the tummy , the gas will come up and I will feel naturally a heart burn. The way to combat is to make sure i eat something in the morning.

Actually I feel the nasty feeling in the night too. When I lie down to sleep on my side, sometimes there will be gas coming out of my mouth rather involuntary, as if I am a gasy seven up that has just been opened. My husband laughs at me, half amused , half sympathetic.

Well, Jack, I can’t wait for you to come out of me and be with us!  We love you immensely already.

Isabella Oliver Review December 1, 2009

I was very impressed by Isabella Oliver , a UK brand,  because they seemed to the first company which “gets” it. That the working woman will still need to work and wear working clothes that are clean cut, well made when they are pregnant. It doesn’t change. Hence I recommended it to my cousin in the UK and she was very happy and bought about five different outfits. In fact, her friends love her clothes so much, that they were not pregnant, but bought the clothes too!

What I love most are their coats and their wraps which seem to really brings out the best in a pregnant mama. However, I do think that they could really still do better with the fit and also their pricing is really on the high side. I wish they would lower the price to about 20% lower.

So far I have the following:

Isabella Oliver Shirt Wrap Top

I received compliments whenever I wear this. However, I find that fold where the two material cross at the chest, tends to open out quite a bit to reveal more than what I wanted. I think the next time I have to wear a camisole or something to protect my own modesty. The shirt material was nice.

Isabella oliver Kimono Wrap Top

Ok. This wrap top when I put it on- I didn’t look a least bit like this model, but it still fitted quite nicely and stylishly. Plus points- the color was nice, it was formal and still stylish. And it looked “cool”. What I would like to see improved– I wish the sleeves were a little longer. I wished it had lining inside. I wish the price would be reduced somewhat to make it more affordable.

Isabella Midi Kimono wrap Dress

This dress was a great disappointment. The color shown here looks like a purplish blue color, but instead it was more like a dull blue. The material here also looked like it was made of some kind of silk like material, but it was actually polysester. And it looks very flimsy. The top was also very tight at the sides, but loose in the front. Maybe if I had ordered the bigger size it would have been better. But I just didn’t like the whole thing so I opted to return it.

Conclusion:

So would I buy it this brand again ? Hmm.. perhaps not. I think I am good for now.

Third Trimester– a little more uncomfortable

So I am now 29 weeks pregnant, and feeling generally ok. Jack kicks alot harder now, so it feels as if he reallly is a real person. It’s quite fun that way, but try that when you are trying to sleep! He kicks I notice especially when i am hungry and at night when I am lying at my side. I guess he feels squashed.

I noticed that in the third trimester, my feet is getting more puffed up and I have started to put on the pounds. I have also begun to become more constipated. Not sure why.

Also, there is a line right in the middle of the tummy. It really looks strange. I hope it disappears after Jack comes…

Baby Gear Review: Finding the right infant Car Seat.. Maxi Cosi.. Peg Prego… Chicco Keyfit November 14, 2009

The most important thing a parent has to consider buying is the infant car seat. You have to install an infant car seat in the car when you go to the hospital to deliver, otherwise they actually won’t let you go home!!! ( I wonder whether I can walk home with the baby?)

After doing tons of research, I realize that there are essentially two types of car seats around.

1. The Infant Car Seat– that is suitable for age 0 to a max of 30 lbs

2. The Convertible car seat – that you can use if for longer time, whereby you have it rear facing first and then convert it later to front facing.

The reason why many moms prefer to get an infant car seat and then convert to the other car seat, is because for the infant car seat; you can detach it from the base and carry it around, so as not to wake the baby up if he is sleeping. ( Every mom’s nightmare is a baby who is awaken from his sleep).

For a comprehensive and safety list, you should check out this site: http://www.aap.org/family/Carseatguide.htm

In looking for carseats, here was my list of criteria:

1. It had to be light – I have to climb up stairs to get to my house everyday.

2. It had to be safe

3. It had to look nice and not too plasticy.

4. It had to be easy to buckle and unbuckle.

5. It had to be as big as possible- this is because my hubbie is tall and I know I am going to end up with a big baby, so I want to maximize the use of the infant car seat.

6. It could not be older than manufactured in 2008 ( This is because I plan to reuse the same car seat for another child, and read that car seats have generally a lifespan of 5 years.)

Here is what I shortlisted:

1. Maxi Cosi Car Seat- $169

The "looker"

This was the coolest looking car seat and I was at first attracted to the bright colors. I also liked it because it could fit into alot of the cooler strollers like Bugaboo and Quinny.  It was also rated highly in Europe as a really safe car seat.  However, when I went to Lullaby Lane to test it out, I was strongly advised by the staff there NOT to get it.

Reasons Against:

1.  The handle bar was too thin and comfortable to carry around.

2. It wasn’t exactly the lightest of the carseats.

3. While reading Amazon reviews, everyone complained about how difficult it was to buckle the baby and I didn’t want to waste time fiddling with it.

4. It only fitted up to 22 lbs.

5. It was really hard to get the infant car seat out of the base because the attachement is on the sides of the car seat, whereas the other car seats like Graco it is at the back of the seat which is alot simpler.

2. Peg Perego Primo Viaggio Car Seat 30 $269

Peg Perrego Viago SIP

Priced at $269 for the bigger seat that fits up to 30 lbs, I was still considering this despite the price due to the beautiful style and  and colors. It is obviously made in Italy! For safety features, it also wins bonus points for providing side impact protection. Plus it is one of the few brands around that caters to a larger baby.

Reasons against:

1. It is still on the heavy side

2. The price.

3. Chicco Keyfit 30 $159

Chicco Keyfit30 Infant Car seat

Reading the reviews at elitecarseats.com, I chose this in the end because this car seat had alot of great reviews about safety and easy of use. Furthermore, the car seat did fit for a baby up to 30 lbs. Read the review on about.com on Chicco Car Seat. I bought it because it was cheaper than Peg Perego, and the moms at my local moms club recommended it. However, after I bought the car seat- I realized one major drawback….. there were not many strollers that could fit it. The ones on the website only recommend their own brand- Chicco strollers. And when I looked at the universal strollers/infant car seat carriers- they all mentioned- Graco, Peg Perego, Maxi Cosi, but no mention of Chicco!!

Then I googled and chanced upon a forum, where people said that the Chicco Car Seat fitted with the Maclaren Easy Traveler very well, so I felt a little cheated, but relieved. I bought one on craigslist and hopes it works out ok.

Medical News: Study Suggests Increased Risk of Birth Defects With UTI Treatments – in OB/Gyn, Pregnancy from MedPage Today November 10, 2009

Medical News: Study Suggests Increased Risk of Birth Defects With UTI Treatments – in OB/Gyn, Pregnancy from MedPage Today.

This news is scary. It was posted on CNN and all the major news feeds.

If you recall, I had bouts of  UTI before , and the urologist prescribed a low dosage of antibotics to prevent a miscarriage. I met an appointment with my Urologist, because I realized that the antibotics he had given me was nitrofurantoins– which is the one mentioned in the article. I was kinda surprised that he didn’t read the article, and gave some lame excuse that news like that show up all the time. Anyway, at least he  has changed the medications for me now to something else, and reminded me to drink lots of water during the day.

 

Baby Gear reviews

I have reached almost obsession level in trying to get ready for the baby. That’s so much things to buy and such a steep learning curve too! Without experiencing being a mother first hand, it is hard to know what to get and what not to get. Anyway, I have done loads of research and I thought I would dedicate these two weeks to let moms to be benefit from what research I have done for the gear.

Stay Tuned……

Preparing for Motherhood.. the baby list November 3, 2009

So I have been told by my friend who has just given birth that it’s best to do all the shopping and preparing for the baby when you are in the second trimester, and not too heavy. This friend of mine was in bed rest for most of her third trimester, so needless to say it was really hard for her to get around and buy stuff.

I had really no clue what to buy and really didn’t want to clutter my house with so much stuff, so I asked my local mom’s club for advice. Their list was overwhelming. Here is what we gotten so far:
Our principal for buying was:
1. Do I really need it ?
2. Get from friends if possible, if not, buy second hand

1. Breast pump – bought from amazon.
2. Baby sling – bought from mom’s club member
3. Bjorn type carrier – bought from babies r us. for hubbie
4. 2 diaper bins ( to throw the used diapers)
5. Crib – for baby to sleep in and can be converted to toddler bed. -Craigslist.
6. Play Gym- from mothers club member ( for baby to stare at things when they lie down)
7. My brest friend – a pillow to help in breast feeding

I am still looking for:
1. The car seat and stroller
2. Baby monitor

Things I am not sure to get or not:
1. Baby swing?
2. Bouncer?